Insomnia: A Maniacal Madness / A Breakdown of the Symbolism
insomnia: a maniacal madness / 28x17.25 inch oil on ACM / NFS
It’s maddening lying there—wide awake—desperately aware of the darkness. Paralyzingly still or erratically racing, my mind is acutely aware that sleep is not coming anytime soon. Whether the hours drone on, or, are broken by brief, unsettled slumber, the clock keeps time.
2:40,
3:40,
4:40.
That’s the breaking point for me—4:40 am. Desperate thoughts rattle me; dawn is coming; too late to fall asleep; I’ll have to get up soon; I should just get up. Insomnia is a private, hellish torture, a maniacal madness that silently creeps away with the rising sun, yet falls madly upon you when the last of it’s glow disappears into the night.
This is one of my personal favorite paintings. It was easy to construct this narrative, as I have a long history with insomnia and sleep struggles.
Because this is the painting I am most asked to discuss, This article breaks down some of the symbolism, but understand, there is always more to be seen, and every person experiences insomnia on a different level and for different reasons, therefore, what they see within the painting, may be different than what someone else may see or feel.
But that's the wonderful thing about art, right?
Every element plays a role symbolically and many have multiple meanings.
I'll give you a few, but if you suffer from sleep issues, I would love to hear how the painting resonates with you or what symbolism you find in the painting.
Sheep Mobile
Obviously this is a callout to 'counting sheep', but also, there are seven, one for each day of the week. The sheep furthest left, turned toward the back, represents Sunday (Saturday is right below), continuing clockwise: Monday, Tuesday, etc..
Friday is the sheep hanging at the lowest point in the center, staring straight out.
For me, getting through the week, is a victory, the coming weekend means I can relax more about my sleep schedule. The direction they face is also a moody reference to each day of the week. Even the strings—draping, twisting, and looping—are there to represent the unraveling one feels when in the throes of sleepless nights.
Wolf Skull & Moon
These two play off each other and one can be quite poetic in interpreting them... a lone wolf howling at the moon; there's werewolf folklore, the moon to blame for this symbolic, lonely transformation one feels to have undergone when endlessly awake at night. The moon alone is also a positive attribute—an old friend, lighting the darkness—one feels less alone when the moon is there.
Skull
The skull is there to represent worry, anguish, self-deprecating thoughts, the unquiet mind, fear, bad dreams etc., please feel free to keep listing.
Board, Nails, Peas, Spring
I'm sure anyone can sort these out, but my goal was to visually depict the discomfort one feels, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, insomnia is a tortuous experience.
The peas are my little reference to the Hans Christian Anderson fairytale, "The Princess and the Pea," to address what a sensitive topic this can be with an individual who suffers from insomnia, but also how one can feel isolated and as if no one really believes you.
It's a deep struggle that is not easily understood (even if thought to be) by those who have never had this issue.
Clockface
4:40 am. My breaking point. I'm sure it is a different time for everyone.
To learn more about my skull narrative series of paintings, click here read this post featuring all of my skull narrative paintings!
